in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
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