Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
