he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
