So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
