Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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