Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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