Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize