im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
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I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
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It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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