I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize