well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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