She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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