Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
