I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
