I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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