perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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