the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
