ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize