I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
