Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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