at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
