How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
