Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
