Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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