Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
