I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just found a bag of teeth...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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