your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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