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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
