Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
