He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize