mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
