You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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