I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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