he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
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I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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