my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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