a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
You've changed since you got that strap on
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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