And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
