So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
