Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
