dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
