guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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