the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
