Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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