He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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