dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
