I think my vagina is haunted
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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