she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
