worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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