So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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