I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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