is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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