Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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