yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Randomize