We're like a lot better than the average bears
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He did a backflip because drugs
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
