i think my tv is drunk
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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