Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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