What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
