Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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