Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
this hospital has no fireball
I just forgot I was standing up.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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