My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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