I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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