try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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