Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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