i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
