I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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