i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
